Librarian is the new Postal

May 6, 2008

{ You're making it harder }

-Excellent

My coworker at the circulation desk has today told patrons that:

The color printer also copies, and will make color copies. (It does not. The copy machine will make a black and white copy....)

I can "fix" a patron's resume for them, after it has printed in the wrong format. After the patron has signed off the computer, and failed to save it to a flashdrive, floppy disk, email, or any other means. "Just go over to the girl at the Information desk and she'll take care of it for you." Yeah. Me and the magic wand that I was never issued.

And she just did it again. She sent a patron over to me for help with the copy machine, when what he really needed was help with the print release station.

I should really stop bitching about people who can't tell the difference between a printer and a copier, when I'm discovering more and more that it's not the patron, but my coworker, that the problem originates with.....

Labels: computer, Copier, coworkers, printer

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May 5, 2008

{ Monday, Monday }

-Excellent

As always, having fun in the library on Monday:

On the phone with a patron:
“Ok. I just need your library card number.”
“Card number? What’s that?”
“It’s the number on your library card..”
“Oh ok. I see. 555-BOOK.”
"Umm. That sounds like the number for the main branch of our library.”
“It’s the only number on the card. I’ve got it right here in front of me.”
“Well… the number you just read, ending in BOOK, is a telephone number. The library card number is on your card. Probably on the other side….”
“That’s the only number on the card.”
“Ok….”

Then there’s the elderly patron on the copier. He’s a regular. I know the machines are confusing. I know it’s crazy of us to expect you to make your own copies, but that’s what Kinkos is for. If you don’t want to or are unable to make your own copies, please go there. I’m not a copy girl. If I make your copies for you that’s all I will have to time to do today. I can show you how to use the machine; I can’t do it for you. That what “self serve” means.

“”Well fine. Show me how it works, then.”
“You put the paper here, face-up.”
“Like this?”
“No. With the text facing up, so you can see it.”
“Here.”
“No. So you can see the writing on the paper.”
“Well I can’t figure out what you’re talking about with these crazy machines.”
“You see the picture on top? Put the paper just like the picture shows.”
“Like this?”
“No. Turn it over…. here. Fine. I’ll do it. Now hit the green button to make your copy.”
“Which button do I hit?”
“The big green one.”
“This one?”
“No. The green one. The one that says start.”

I really think he’s just messing with me to take up as much of my time as he possibly can because I wouldn’t hit the fucking copy button for him. The girl at the desk just told him to read the instructions on the lid, though. That’s what I get for trying to provide customer service. Next time I’ll be like every other disgruntled library employee and just point.

Labels: Copier, customer service, Library Cards, Monday, patrons, phone

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Apr 30, 2008

{ You were so totally not gone }

-Excellent

“Should I push in my chair?”
“Are you leaving?”
“Yeah. I’m gone.”
“Nah. Just leave it in the middle of the aisle for people to run into. That’s cool.” (Response in my ever crazy head, but I should have said it out loud. Seriously, if you have to ask the library lady if you should push in your chair…. Do I look like your Mommy?)

Five minutes later the same patron, who was not “gone,” totally fucked up the settings on our color printer by lifting the lids and hitting every button on top, trying to make copies.

“Sir. That’s not a copier.”
“Oh. So I can’t make copies here?”
“You can use the copier over there.”
“Ok. I’ll just use the copier then.”
“Yeah. Over there.”
“This isn’t a copier?”
“This is a printer. You can print to it from the computers. The copy machine is over there.” (pointing emphatically at the copy machine)
“Does it make color copies?”
“Nope. Just black and white.”
“Well what good is it then?”

Meanwhile…. I have to change all the paper settings on the color printer from executive to letter and reset the color calibration. How did he manage to change them so fast? I don’t even know how to do that without looking it up…..

Labels: chair, computer, Copier, Mommy, printer

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May 16, 2007

{ Library is the New Kinkos }

-Excellent
Apparently the library is a sort of free Kinkos. Today's transaction went like this:
Patron: “Maaaamm, I need some copies.”
Me: “Copier is right there.”
Patron: (makes a poof sound) “I don't know how to use that thing.”
I demonstrate how to “use that thing.” After they are done “using that thing” (The big green button makes it go, not the coin release lever. Please don't spread your files on the circulation desk, other people want to put their books there. No, your paper has to go face down on the glass for the “magic eye” to see it. Where the little arrow is. No, don't push the coin release. The big green one....”) they ask for a stapler. Ok. And White out. Ok..... “And some paper clips? Do you have a manilla folder? And I need to fax this.”
“We don't have a fax machine.”
“Well fuck, what good is the library anyway?”
“ You're right. No good. I suggest you try Kinkos.”

Labels: Copier, Kinkos, Library

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