When I am under a desk, ass in air, with a tape measure in my mouth, it is not a good time to say: “You see that girl over there? She’s our reference librarian. You go ask her.”
Especially when the lady only wants to make a complaint about our selection of resume books.
Talk to the ass, lady.
The only thing more disturbing than a coworker who reinforces the old librarian stereotypes is the library employee who shows up at work with a fake plastic bun pinned to the back of her head......
Can’t even begin to describe the chaos I walked into today.... Oh. Yeah. It’s a Monday.
Couple of overheard tidbits within the first five minutes:
On trying to give a patron back the ten cents he left in the copier: “You keep it. They’re going to lay you off anyway.”
My coworker to patrons who need help using the self-checkout computers.: “I can’t help you, you have to do it yourself.” (Customer Service? We apparently don’t have it).
There are 28 people milling around the Information desk right now. Most of them are just waiting for their computer time. The average wait for a computer at this moment is 90 minutes. Rather than sit at a table and read the newspaper, or leave the library to get a cup of coffee while they wait, they have decided that it is more profitable to stand around my desk and glare at me. Because “it is obviously that library’s bitch’s fault that they have to WAIT.”
True: it is spring break this week and the three surrounding school systems are all on break at the same time. True: the library is seen as a free babysitting service by too many parents.
“But obviously that library bitch is just being smug because she won’t let me on THAT computer, where nobody is sitting yet.”
And then there is the guy who needs to do his unemployment online, but has never used a mouse before.
And then there is the couple who are going to do their taxes on the library computer but didn’t bother to bring their social security numbers with them and want me to look them up on the Internet.
And then there are the six or so people standing in line at the Information desk with real questions (mostly along the lines of “do you have this DVD?”, but real questions nonetheless) who may never get to ask me their questions because I am busy fighting with irate customers about the 90 minute wait for the computers, who think that they are special and that their work is more important than whatever the kids are doing who are using the computers NOW.
Don’t go to the library this week. Just don’t. You won’t get any help, and I’m in a bad mood.
So this woman comes up with her two (loud) children and a stack of 20 some DVDs.
"Here", she hands me a credit card.
"May I help you with something?"
"I want to rent these"
"Do you have a library card?"
"Why would I need one of those, at Blockbuster they just take the credit".
"Well since this is the library, to check out the DVDs we require a library card or an ID. If you don't have a card you can sign up for one. It's free."
"Okay, how much is it going to cost me?"
"It's free, do you have any ID on you"
"No, I don't carry any, it could get stolen."
"Okay, well unfortunately since I'm unable to look you up in our system without any ID, you're not able to take any of those DVDs with you."
"Well screw this shit, I'll just go back to Blockbuster."
She leaves now, crying children in tow. I wonder if she realizes that Blockbuster will probably ask her for ID too.
A woman in green scrubs comes in smelling of cigarette smoke and asks for information on surgical techniques for lung transplants.
Libraries specialize in the preservation and distribution of information. That being said, there is still such a thing as TOO MUCH INFORMATION.
For example: telling the reference desk lady that your new appearance is due to losing over 80 pounds from a nasty case of Hepatitis. Further, handing said friendly library employee a book that you have had checked out and telling her you fear it might be infected with the disease and you wanted the library to know so we wouldn’t put it back on the shelf and infect everyone else in the library.
(If you were really worried about the contagion of the book, why did you HAND IT to a library employee? No gloves. No bag. No brains)
Side note: You can’t contract hepatitis from a library book. Nor can you contract aids. The book would have to be soaked in bodily fluids and then EATEN, and that’s just nasty.
Side Side note: Diseases that would be possible to contract from a library book, under the right circumstances, include pink eye, flesh eating bacteria, and ringworm. I’m not saying that this is a common occurrence, but I’m also not suggesting you go around licking library books.
Aside side note: Dumbass.
(Looking for a biography for a school project.) "My grandma said I should get one on Marie Antoinette. Do you know why she's famous? I haven't seen any pictures or nothing."
I shouldn't be amused by this, but don't they learn about these things in school at some point? Marie Antoinette was that movie with Kirsten Dunst and that dude from Rushmore. Duh.